oh the diaster that is my life

pardon the sarcasm...but sometimes I don't know what comes over me...I overreact and make a big deal out of everything...

My boyfriend is really amazing...he loves me dearly and is very patient with me...throughout my bouts of insecurities and crazies...I have been smothering him lately because of my insecurity...and today I was talking to one of my closest girlfriends and I realized just how much my boyfriend really loves me...and I felt soo silly. But I am glad to have such a good friend who gave me the space to be my dark self...she allowed me to express myself fully and honestly in all my shame, misery, insecurity and eagerness...she helped realize what my poor boyfriend was already telling me...was true...she also told me that this wasn't the be all end all that I was making it out to be...

I am truly grateful to have such a wonderful friend, and incredibly grateful and happy to have a fantastic boyfriend who loves me.

Sometimes I am soo silly and my judgment gets soo clouded...so I wanted to write this so the next time I overreact, this will remind me to think twice.

Lately I had been feeling like I need to spend every waking moment with my boyfriend...but I realized today that I need space to process and intergrate this love and all the other emotions into my being. I need the space to allow me to truly see and appreciate this realtionship.
I also need the time and space to let this growth process really work....I need to allow for the growth.

oh and if you have been curious about my housing situation...I had to get more paperwork in today...I hope to hear the good news soon...Keep sending me your good thoughts.

Mother's day is coming up and I have been thinking about what to get my mom for mother's day. More than anything I just wanted her to know that she is loved and appreciated and not just because its mother's day...but because she has been having a tough time lately.

It has been really hard on her to see me spend less time at home...and now that I am moving it is going to be harder on her. I love her and want her to truly be happy and find happiness in her life. I just want her to know that eventhough we have differences of opinions, and distance between us...I still love her and she is still important to me and I want her in my life. I have been away a lot lately, and she misses me. And my brother has also been away...times are a bit tough for my mom.....so gentle reader keep sending your good thoughts her way as well.

The other thing that has been on my mind is my cousin who is getting married as i type. Her's is an arranged marriage and I am a little nervous. I don't know the boy at all...and sounds like she doesn't know him a whole lot either. I sincerely hope that he is nice guy who will love and respect her like she deserves to be. So that's another person for whom I wish the best and send all my good thoughts...hopefully you will also send your good thoughts her way.

I am also trying to get back on the diet and exercise bandwagon...my friend and I are going to an appointment with this personal trainer next...hopefully that will help.

So there thats what's going on in my world right now. Tune in for more...

almost a place of my own

So I was talking to the people at the studio apartments that I am interested in renting. The lady informed me that all my background and credit checks have cleared. They are just waiting on my employment verification forms to be returned. She said there is a really good chance of me getting the place and that I would know by later this week or at the very latest next week.

I have my fingers crossed. Give me in your good thoughts readers and feel free to send good vibes my way.

I was also talking last night to my cousin who is about to get married. I hope that you will keep her in your good thoughts as well. I hope that her marriage will be blessed and blissful. I wish only the best for her!

That's all for today folks! I hope to tell you soon that I have got a place of my own!
:D