the benevolence of the universe.

I must be on the right path. The universe has decided to throw me the sweet most amazing surprise. So I must be doing what I am supposed to do. I am soo glad that I am open and staying open to the universe.

I just have to remember to breathe and not take the universe and its benevolence for granted.
I am glad that I am able to be 100% genuine and 150% be here in the moment.

I just wanted to let you my faithful readers know that I am very very happy.

delhi-6

I just watched Delhi-6. I went in with no expectations and came out, satisfied. It was a good movie. I loved Abhishek Bachchan's role, he reminded me of my brother. The character Roshan is a lot like my brother. My brother has a strong sense of self. From this he is able to reach out and accept everyone and everything, perfect or imperfect.

Dear old me on the other hand, don't have as strong a sense of self. From a young age I have had an incredibly co-dependent relationship with my mother. As such separating myself from her identity and finding myself has been hard. In the process, I repel a lot of my mother identity.
I have a harder time accepting everyone and everything as a result.

But the good news is that I still love my mother. By purging myself of my mother's identity and finding and identifying my own is helping me. Eventually, when I have a stronger sense of self I will be able to accept, embrace and live with the parts of me that came from my mother.

If you are a little confused reader, I can empathize. I am a little confused myself. But each day of active searching for my voice, my identity, helps me get clarity. I am sure that I will grow and mature into the person I was always meant to be.

For now I keep trying.

Sorry for digressing from Delhi-6. I liked it. Although since I just literally watched it minutes ago, much has yet to sink in. I am sure that I can better appreciate or not appreciate it at a later time.

I just want to say that the soundtrack sounds really good. I like the overall message. I loved the Ram-Leela play within the movie. That was a truly exceptional production.

The snapshots of Delhi within the movie were mind blowing.

I especially love this line from the movie: Only dogs eat to survive; humans eat to bond." I totally agree with this 120%.

I also like the line Rishi Kapoor's character, Ali delivers:"We don't have bread; so we make do with love. We have small houses; so we boast of a big heart." That line made me understand India in depths that I could never understand before.

So as you can tell, I did like the movie.

I'm making it happen

I am tired of just waiting on the sidelines, for my fairytale life to happen. I have decided to jump right in as is my nature and make my life what I want it to be. No more feeling sorry for myself, thinking that I am not good enough. I am good enough, in fact I am more than good enough. I deserve the life I want.

I am losing weight on Jenny Craig. I am working hard and playing hard. I am putting myself out there for people to meet. I feel good about myself.

I am more forgiving and accepting of myself. I am okie with the fact that I am neither light nor shadow. I exist somewhere in between. I am neither in nor out. I am more than my fears. I am more than my doubts. I am more than my talents. I am more than my body. I am more than my mind. I am whole. And I love every part of my being.

I am once again ready to abandon myself in the benevolent arms of the universe. I am ready to trust. I am ready to be trusted. I am ready to love. I am ready to be loved. I am ready to breathe. I am ready to live.

I dive in head first for others, its about time that I do the same for me.

I am committed to me as I am now, and in the future where change and growth are inevitable.